Sunday, May 20, 2007
leaving a room
I understand that every relationship will face conflicts and arguments. Noone can expect two people from different background and different experience can fit so well and communicate so clearly. When there is a conflict, there is an exchange of thought. If both can get over it and understand each other, the level of getting knowing each other would enhance. Recently I am having some hard time. My bf gets frustrated so easily. Actually we are both lovely and knowing what we want in a relationship. However we both stress out. 1 hour ago we were being lovely watching tv at home. I was asking him nicely in a proper way to transfer some photos that he took to my computer. His first reaction is ‘I don’t have the photos in my computer. I haven’t transferred them yet’, with anger mood. It seems so troublesome for him to transfer those photos. Of course I am upset with him because it’s just a simple request. So I said fine if you can’t do it and walked away to another room to cool myself. Then he shouted and said that I changed my notebook’s setting. He came to me and said “MOVE”. I responded “Can you speak nicely. There’s way to get thing done. I don’t need this shit on Sunday when I need to relax” However he still piss. Anyone can take this or know how to handle this? Tell me how. I got scolded and stress for being nice?! All this while, I have been putting so much effort in him. Helping him with whatever I can and what I get in return is non-understanding. So I took my notebook and left the house. Driving and thinking..Questioning myself. I feel there’s no way to get myself down and upset because it won’t help at all. He won’t call and say sorry or do something to make me feel better. So why should I let myself down? I don’t need to expect anything from him. I just don’t feel I deserve to be treated like this. I give my best and if you think you are all right and not feeling sorry for what you have done. Then I have to say it’s not my problem. It’s your problem.
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5 comments:
Hi ivy,this is annie here.err hope u still can remember me yeah.Anyway am stephen's gf!!! stephen....micheal's bro.Came across ur blog and realise tat u are having some problems with your bf.And which is a common problem for all couples.I,myself,experience it before though.I know how it feels...heartache and hard feelings..Talking about 'speak nicely'i personally find that no men actually knows wat it means..*sad*..or maybe women are more sensitive..And especially couples staying together,this problem definitely cannot be avoided.So this is how i overcome this problem and now we don't argue..ivy,always try to cool urself down whenever this kind of problems occurs.. i know is difficult cos we feel anger.But tell urself wat's the point of arguments? we wanna make things work out and not to make things worse..we doesn't wanna push each other away isn't it?i mean cool down as in not feeling angry about it at all.Put the anger thoughts behind your mind.If u don't feel like talking,fine,just do watever u feels like doing and not making any noise about the incident..(this is something which is not easy to practice but it do help in a relationship)And men they are all the same..they will tend to forget things fast and especially when they realise that their partner are not making any fuse about it,they will feel bad about it and will start doin some soul searching.And that will be the time to talk.. TALK it out!!TALK in a nice way,let him know how u feel,but please dun mislead him and make him feel that u are blaming him.And also never let him feel that u are complaining.It's all about communication skills.And when u are able to practice tat and put it to use in your everyday life..u will feel different and feel happy always..Yeah and i dunno whether u had read this book before,men are from mars and women are from venus? try reading it if u haven't.. from there,u will get to understand more about men the cavemen...Alright,all the best to you and i believe u will be happy always..cheers!!
(oh u might be thinking why can't they practice tat instead of us? yeah i do tot of it before either..as i say women are more sensitive than men tat's why..to them they feel nothing is wrong about them,nothing is wrong in the relationship and mostly importantly they feel happy enough..so they won't realise it unless we make them realise.by showing temper and piss off with them doesn't help them to realise their mistakes anymore..so gotta do it in the other way..)
hi annie,
of coz I do remember you. I was shocked that you actually write so much here to give advice... *touch* honestly you are right, i tried not to show my anger and hard feeling. Just let it be and let him know that I am actually not so happy and he did show more caring about it. maybe we as women should act like a guy sometimes. after all life is short and is about test if that's the right one for you... hey we should catch up one day! =)
Yup ivy,you are right. Sometimes women should act like a guy..hey am glad to know that you guys are alright now..at least he showed some care isn't it?tat's good!!keep it up ivy, i've got confidence in u.. you definitely know how to handle or maintain your relationship..is the hardest ship to sail though.So we all gotta "jia you"...
Sure we can catch up anytime.I'd already replied your message from friendster wan..hmm got my hand phone number in there.Hope to see you soon yeah..and most of all ivy,be happy always.. as u say after all life is short..so we must make sure tat the journey is filled with heaps of happiness.isn't it ?alright,keep in touch and have a nice thursday!!
Cheers...
hi... miss ivy chee, or cik hui hong .. whatever.. i understand that most of the couples will complaint after few months being together or if even worse, some couple found it hard to communicate each other after marriage... a face-off transformation normally in position... well what to do? cos most of the couple wish to get that kinda fake attitude when meeting each other and in the way of clicking them together.. to me.. just be urself... and communicate.. always care to talk to each other about ur future/goals and dare to share everything and commitment towards a relationship...
if that never happen after a while u started your relationship, need not wasting time and hope everything to turn up into good sign, or hope for a miracle... for a such sudden-changed in character. just be happy and enjoy ur life.. if that relationship cant really click, then try ur best to make things better and solve out all the problems .. or absorb those minor problems and be with it.. if again not working... let go... and be happy again.. dont ever let romance trouble or make u sad or down.... how many years u have in ur life? single life isnt that bad as well.. as long as u love urself and u love ur life.. someone who is better will deserve for ur love.....rite? remember this.. u are losing someone who doesnt appreciate ur love and at the same time, he is losing someone who love him more than he loves u..
if u are good enuf, then there should be so many ppl standing/q'ing outside to be loved or love u...... this is what i learn from my past relationship... i can do it.. why dont u? ^_^ dear hong.. be great there.. steal back ur lovely smile from no where... not a fake one of course..cheers....
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